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Lesbians and Midgets Monday!
In celebration let’s sing a little song!
Here’s a little song, ( sung to Rainy days and Mondays)
Here comes that Lesbian’s and Midget’s Monday!
And soon the Beers they will be falling like rain
It always seems to be Monday for Midgets and Lesbians
You took my high chair because you’re queer!
Here comes that rainy day feeling again
And I’ll be dreaming of you baby in vain
Your short and it drives me insane!
Your face is always on my mind and level with my behind
I hope that soon you’re gonna find girl
Your way back to me
Cause if you say you’ll stay, the rainy days would go away!
Misty morning eyes I’m trying to disguise the way I feel
But I just can’t hide it, you’re the real deal
And then I hear you say…
“I’m short!” “Shit!” Got that Rainy day feeling again!
People seem to know about your flat head, where my beer can grows.
And soon the Beers they will be falling like rain
It always seems to be a Monday for Midgets and Lesbians!
Kind of like that Sunday when you took my Sunshine away
Sure Sunshines a Lesbian, her friends told me she’s gay…
I know your short but do it my way, put that beer on top of your head!
And give it to me good!
Yes that’s right do it like I knew you would!
HOT TODDY is a character in this article and body of fiction hereby known as ” The work in progress” and the CalPatty Press.
All characters in this work of fiction are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
NOT!
© 2009 CalPatty Press–the TRUTH from Central West Virginia!
10 responses so far ↓
Johnny // June 24, 2007 at 12:38 p
Oh, one other thing, Hot Toddy FUCKED UP when he tried playing wannabe cop with you, and the bounty hunter bullshit… yep, he FUCKED UP when he pissed you off!!!!!
Johnny // June 24, 2007 at 12:51 p
Something else I’ve been wanted to say… Not many have walked with me this far, I am thankful you have!
calpattypress // June 24, 2007 at 2:35 p
Well…if the truth be known, EE wrote the song, but it wasn’t as funny as when he plugged into the little monitor amp and actually sung it for all to hear, you may see it on UTUBE!
Well we all know some pretty famous mean little Midgets, and there are more Lesbians out there than one might suspect, so my only hope for the world is that they go to Church this morning and ask God to forgive them.
CPPressReporter // June 24, 2007 at 5:40 p
Answer to Johnny:
“You only had to kill her daddy once to piss her off!”
C.S. // June 24, 2007 at 7:38 p
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti…………………
calpattypress // June 25, 2007 at 8:05 p
From the bad lands of Crooked County came the killer
He lived by the knife and the gun
He’d cut you just for standing
And shoot ya if ya tried to run
He was big as a tree and did as he pleased
And everything he did was bad
They called him a ” Crook ” from Crooked County
And they said if you was to kill him
It’d make the whole world glad
From the good lands came the Cal girl
Patti was her name
She was hot on the trail of that killer
On a 4-wheeler she called Flame
Coz the killer had killed her daddy
For spittin’ in the road
You only had to kill her daddy once
To get that girl P.O.’d
(Chorus)
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti
She rode into town to find the man that killed her daddy
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti
The killer hit town at daybreak
Ate the door of the local saloon
He started to drink you could tell
He was thinking there’ll be a showdown soon
Cal Patti hit town in a cloud of dust
Ol’ Flame was buzzin’ like a saw
And the whole town got quiet as a church
When the killer stepped out for the draw
Forty shots rang out
Forty people fell
Cal Patti and the killer missed each other
But they shot that town to hell
“Yippie eye eh Cal Patti
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti
She rode into town to find the man that killed her daddy
Yippie eye eh Cal Patti”
The killer took a step towards Patti
Said it’s time I gunned you down
But he slipped in something that was layin’ in the street
And was shot before he hit the ground
Yes, the killer slipped and it cost him his life
And Cal Patti said as she roared out of town
You gotta watch your step
When you know the Cal Patti chips are down
Gilmer finisher // April 17, 2008 at 5:13 p
NEWS FLASH……Dumbass HOT TODDY is in jail again. Ha Ha
pissed // November 2, 2008 at 2:10 p
Hey I’ve got one for ya, I was in a physical altercation with a off duty State Cop in Jackson county when i was arrested for DUI, assault, trespassing. During the fight the State Trooper went and got into his police car, then threatened to run over me just because he was embarrassed for getting his ass kicked!
To make a long story short I went to court received 6 months– YES six months home confinement for the first DUI, 12 months probation!!!!!!! Now you tell me that Trooper didn’t have that judge in his pocket?
Editors note: We certainly see your point, but please feel free to let everyone know, what officer, what judge, in the jurisdiction of Jackson County. But, in CROOKED county you would have gotten one to five for assault of a police officer and another one to five for something the prosecutor just made up and hope would stick on the wall like shit, then another fabricated charge just for good luck, then, any probation would have been a min. of FIVE years. Braxton County, Crooked County,Calhoun, Nicholas, Lewis,Clay and Webster are the counties controlled by the Crooked elite and are totalitarian forms of government within the state govt.
will // December 14, 2008 at 6:17 p
Hey and thanx for the link add ya know i’ve only lived here(cal co) 5 yrs but had an amusing run in with gordon my self= I will tell ya about it at- Yahoo IM add willyobiker.
heather // May 27, 2009 at 8:31 p
I’m not feeling a bit sorry for Andrew Jones. It’s like they say what comes around goes around,and I hope this is just the beginning for him!!!!
Editors note: Tell us more about ole Andy…. tell us how you really feel!
even if it is from the great beyond.